The Mirror Has Two Facebooks

Social networking has never been one of my strong suits. At a party, I usually hang around the food table and snack or nurse a glass of water or soda while standing unobtrusively next to a door. In case I need to make a quick getaway.

For 2009, my company created a new initiative to get everyone hooked into Facebook, and I held out joining while everyone in my office created profiles, uploaded pictures and commented on each others' statuses. Then one day a few weeks ago, my boss walked over to my desk and asked when I was going to setup my own page. I tried to reason that I already had a blog and a profile on LinkedIn. My information is already out there and accessible.

What I didn't mention was that I was afraid of requests from certain people, classmates from high school with whom I haven't spoken or tried to contact since graduation. Mostly because I detested high school. Not necessarily because I was gay -- at the time, I didn't have a word for my facination with the quarterback, and if I ever showed any gay traits, no one teased me about them. No, I was the odd kid, the band geek in glasses who felt different from everyone else. I tried to hard to fit in, doing stupid things to win praise which ultimately failed: joining the Associated Student Body council, the Academic Decathalon team, badgering my music teacher to nominate me for any honor band or orchestra that appeared, enrolling in Advanced Placement classes in subjects I didn't like because everyone else was. And no one noticing so that by my senior year, I longed for graduation and the chance to put those high school days behind me without looking back.

My boss didn't press the issue of joining Facebook. But a few weeks ago, I registered, created a profile, uploaded a picture, and soon, connected with dozens of co-workers, friends, my cousin and his partner in Spain, and a few blogging friends. I even did the unimaginable and checked to see if anyone from high school was using the program. I recognized many of the names and faces, but held myself back from contacting them.

Then, about a week ago, one of them contact me through Facebook. And I let the invitation sit in my inbox, stressing and waffling over what to do. It's been 20 years, my inner voice screamed. Get over it! And I clicked the "confirm" button.

Since then, I've connected with two more classmates. Well, I've accepted their friend requests and written a brief note to one of them to say hi and to catch up. I'll just have to see what happens.