Don't Mind Me. I'm Just Horny.

The incredibly sexy Steve Kelso. Steve holds a special place in my gay heart: his was the first adult video I ever purchased. My friend Dig-Doug and I had decided to celebrate my 26th birthday in West Hollywood, playing pool at Trunks and watching all the twinks and muscled hotties dancing away at Mickey's. Before we reached the bars, though, Dig-Doug wanted to take a small detour to buy some gay porn at a little shop he'd heard of called Circus of Books. I'd never been in an adult video store before and thought it would be an interesting experience just to look around to see what they had to offer. Not that I would ever buy anything.

We turned off Santa Monica Blvd. onto a side street and tried to look casual as we walked into the shop. The main section of the store was a bit cramped with many bookshelves and magazine racks. To my surprise, they were selling a pretty good selection of novels by Edmund White, Fannie Flagg, Alice Walker, Truman Capote and other well known authors. Some shelves held the large pciture books from Mapplethorpe and Bianchi and Tom of Finland; the magazine racks offered everything from GQ and The Advocate to Honcho, Advocate Men and an assortment of lesbian, gay, transgender, S&M and others. I picked up a copy of Tales of the City, and then Dig-Doug pointed to the gray swinging doors, said he would see me in a little while, and disappeared behind them. I stood for a moment, reading the red warning signs about how you must be over this age to enter that room.

My curiosity was piqued. From movies and TV shows, my image of what lay beyond those doors consisted of black walls with gaudy disco lights and a fat, wrinkled woman with too much rouge and lipstick half-smoking a ratty cigarette and sitting behind a counter, making disguting lecherous looks at the nervous men who half-heartedly looked at the shelves in an effort to hide their true cruising intent. I hesitated, watching as a few more men quickly pushed through the swinging doors before finally forcing myself follow them. The room turned out to be very cramped with shelves full of VHS tapes as far as the eye could see. Male, female, big breasts, big cocks, leather, cops, twinks, bondage, dominatrix, transvestite, transgender - videos of every flavor and style imaginable. Boxes of condoms, lube, dildoes of every size and color imaginable, dozens of handkercheifs, playing cards, matches, assorted toys and jewelry were displayed on racks and in glass cabinets near the front counters. I walked around in a daze, amazed at what I was seeing, pulling out a video and quickly shoving it back with a shocked expression on my face. Sometime later, I stood in front of the solo videos and randomly pulled one out, wondering if I would see some guy on the front sucking himself off. Instead, the cover showed a very handsome man, broad shoulders, hairy chest, great body, short dark hair, moustache and scruffy. The photo was only from the waist up, but I think I fell in lust at that very moment. Here was the very picture of my ultimate fantasy man, and his name was Steve Kelso. I stiffly hurried to the front counter and paid for the tape - my first-ever porn video! I proudly showed the tape to Dig-Doug when we returned to his car. He was impressed, and even dared to ask if he could borrow it sometime. I've never felt so gay in my life!!

Image from www.xs4all.nl/~jossan/afb/f_leerboy.jpg